Dora the Explorer has always given me an uneasy feeling, and it’s not just because of her enormously over-sized head. (Actually, it might be because of that, but there’s more) Here are my ‘findings’ of why I think Dora is a dangerous role model and should from here on out be referred to as ‘Dora the Irresponsible.’ 

1. She’s a toddler, people. A TODDLER. And she’s wandering about the rain-forests of Brazil unsupervised, save for a small (and probably rabid) monkey. Where are her parents? I’m glad you asked. Her parents are at home making cake and they’ve happily provided Dora with nothing but a singing Map to help guide her way home. (Episode ISBN 978-48945A) No worries, she only has to battle hungry crocodiles and BRIDGE TROLL so she can safely eat a meal at home. Tut, tut, Mom and Dad Dora. 

2. She refuses to teach Swiper his lesson. (Swiper is, of course, the ‘villain’ of the show who is raging kleptomaniac of a fox. All he does is steal things, albeit very consistently. Which leads me to think that he’s also a stalker. He conspicuously appears wherever Dora is, whether she’s para-gliding over the Grand Canyon or saving a baby tuna fish beneath the sea. Swiper the Stalker shall be his new moniker). 

My question is, why let this lousy fox go free one more time? My advice to Dora is take care of things medieval style–cut off those thieving paws and they’ll swipe no more. (Though the stalking thing might still be an issue) It could make for a fun episode about choices and consequences. 

3. Though this has nothing to do with her being irresponsible, I can’t not talk about that gargantuan head. How does her neck support that watermelon?  Shouldn’t she be top-heavy? There’s no way she could traipse about the jungle so easily with that biological inconsistency propped atop her shoulders. 

*Note: Further research has revealed that Dora has no neck, leaving me with the impression that her head is simply a skull atop a swivel. 

There’s much more darkness in Dora that could be brought into the light, but we’ll save it for another day. My advice for now is to throw yourself into a full-on banning of Dora. Start a Facebook group, throw together a petition, grab some placards and boycott Nick Jr’s offices, etc. That stuff always works. Until now, I’ll leave you with this ominous picture.